sábado, 19 de março de 2016

Years & Years - Desire

Things are finally getting back into place. I broke up with him and I'm happy that I did it. I feel like I can move forward now, that there's nothing stopping me - he hasn't bad, he just wasn't the one and I always knew that, I just hoped we would make it work in the future. The thing is, what if the future isn't the way I imagined it to be? The world surrounding me is different and so am I. I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to have 3 kids. Now I want to study politics and I don't even know if I even want to get married. I don't know it anymore yet I'm so happy I can't even totally describe it.
She makes me feel so in peace with myself, as if I haven't done anything wrong. It's a safe place but not an asphyxiant one. It's a healthy place to be in and I feel I can finally live. I don't tell her this type of things since she's quite reserved but I think she gets it. I hope she does.
Also, she's definitely working on my confidence towards the others but also towards myself. I'm feeling more confident and I'm also starting to be more demanding to myself - am I making sense? I think I'm not. What I'm saying is that I'm working harder for myself, I'm not expecting that someone will make me feel better just because I feel like I'm not worthy. I now know that it has to be me to take a stand and she's helping me out - she doesn't say 'I like you' that often but it's okay. I have to start trusting others. And I know that starting to trust her is a good starting point.

Not everyone is out to screw you over.
Maybe, oh just maybe they just wanna get to know ya.


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