Well, I can't be that rough with myself - I did learn some things. Not to expect much. Not to give any part of me. There are some people that I know I won't see again. I did learn quite a lot.
But then there are some people that I just can't forget. People that once meant the world the me, people that helped me see flowers (while they were blind). I want to write poetry about him again. I want to fulfill what I've dreamt about for so long. It sounds so ridiculous just by writing it down and I'll be the first judging myself, trust me - but I need to be near him again. I need to be myself, even if that doesn't mean happiness. I'm not the perfect synonym of joy (or luck) but it's better than running away.
During months I told myself I couldn't run away, that it was the end,that I would have to be forever with that person (such a messy person). But now that I am nowhere closer to him...What stops me? I don't have to explain myself to anyone, literally.