quinta-feira, 12 de junho de 2014

The Broods

Classes finished - exams have started. The first year of college is pratically over. Can you believe it? I can't.
It was, probably, one of the most intense years I've experienced so far. I'm not saying as a bad thing (although my worst years were 8th and 9th and they were the worst ones) but I must confess this year made me see a world I wish I hadn't seen. People are different - they don't care anymore. If you miss a step, if you slip, they will judge you and they won't even ask you 'why?'. They just disappear and you are left on your own and even though I'm getting used to it, it still makes me feel messy and confused. Why? Why this?
With all these changes, I've became more quiet and more... analyser I guess. In spite of trying my best to make friends, I've more of a loner. The good thing: I feel good and that's what it matters. I do have friends, I have a loving boyfriend, I've just realized that I don't need 10000001 bff's; in fact, a lot of friends that used to mean the world to me, they are now just friends. And I'm okay with it. My bedroom looks like a war field - if changed a lot of things WHICH MAY BE UNOTICED but, to me, it made all the difference. Now I have like 2 huuuuge shopping bags full of clothes and cloth, ready to be reused/used. I have too many dreams and I don't work on them as much as I wish I would. It's time to make a change.
My book is going pretty well - still exchanging e-mails. I've also started another book but still working on the structure, since this one has to be longer (I want like 150/200 pages) and I can't take that much time as Ano to work on it. This dream has to work. I have to win this. Even if I don't win 1€ from first edition of Ano, I have to make more editions, more books and keep the quality I think I have. It's my dream and Chiado Editora believed in it.
In terms of voluntary work, while APA is going SO WELL, Team End not so. Everything is a mess, there's no respect between each other. Tomorrow we'll have a meeting and we'll try to make a few changes. I just hope that everything goes right.
I should study, xoxo.

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