I'm in love again and I'm scared.

I'm in love again and I'm scared.
I long to be with him
to listen to him.
I giggle, willing to hold him.
I cannot lie,
I'm scared.
After struggling to find
to find what?
Peace?
But what is peace, really?
After struggling to find
Mercy
I found myself asking
Do I want this?

No, I do not.

I prefer to be loved by the one
and hated by the rest of it.
I'm in love again and I'm scared.